caught in a very in-the-moment riptide of anxiety these past four days– hijacked into a crazy that I detest beyond description… a place of total powerlessness and fear that powerlessness, that acute vulnerability… lessons in awareness and soft underbellies and gentle heartedness toward myself, hard won, people, hard won. I am not so good at… Read More

woke strangled and gasping from a dream of dying today feels both precious and jangled and I do too, I do too.     Share This:

the warm yellow light of late day sun through the trees on the ridge new snow on least year’s sumac seed heads bittersweet vines in white pines the scrunch of boots in snow a purple card, here on my desk, reminding me to pause *** I am pausing *** the smell of cinnamon from pumpkin… Read More

it is this day regardless of 5 or 6 it is a day >0 and a day of rain and fog. it is a moment of rain and fog of drips from the roof of birds like graphite sketches high up  and moving fast it is a moment of barely green pines and tangled vines… Read More

I run past my edge sometimes, and stumble sometimes, wondering what happened past the edge of what I can handle past what I need past what I want and not in a I AM DOOMED way, just onto the thinner ice that says with an ominous crack, whoa sister, lie down and ground yourself, wide… Read More

I woke from the unexpected nap under a sleeping child, neck bent awkwardly,emotions bent awkwardly a blue I have not been able to shake since waking.* if this were my blue, i would medicate, it is that untenable, that unbearable. it is not even a chocolate blue, or a hoolahoop blue, it is the anti… Read More

yesterday, on my way to meet a friend for coffee I drove past a bare tree, branches filled with sparrows, maybe, maybe not actually sparrows, as i am not a birder but filled with sparrows and one tangle of a nest and I laughed feast or famine, I wondered am I looking at abundance or… Read More