a cleanish desk
and a moment, a lull, in all of it– the internal, the external… a moment when I realize, hey, wasn’t I intending (planning/trying/hoping) to write more often? if only for a moment?
life rushes by, like melt water.
anxiety has been gathered up and held as gently as I can, compassionately, impatiently… it is so hard to be patient with something so decidedly, so viscerally uncomfortable. but there are messages here. there really are. true ones. deep ones. ones that ask for gentleness, for compassion, for patience, for space, for time… for decisions made not on powering through or OVERCOMING, but in allowing, listening, be-ing, and tuning into and making space for the underlying messages to come through.
Oh! this is hard stuff. I am someone who reaches out, beyond, toward, forward. I have a hard time with what feels like stillness.
but it is the stillness of a chrysalis.
the stillness of a million tiny changes, miraculous, transformative. the waiting, the patience, is imperative.
so, I am trying to learn to wait. trying to learn to listen to the million tiny requests for what feels like stillness, what feels like inaction.
(shhhhh, I say to my loud impatient mind, shhhhhh, listen)
I asked my guide: how do I navigate these changes? and he answered: by changing.
my prayer for all of us:
may we be well
may we experience joy
may we find ease