caught in a very in-the-moment riptide of anxiety these past four days– hijacked into a crazy that I detest beyond description… a place of total powerlessness and fear
that powerlessness, that acute vulnerability… lessons in awareness and soft underbellies and gentle heartedness toward myself, hard won, people, hard won. I am not so good at some things that feel as if they should be easy, should be second nature by now.
self care, self awareness, self compassion. all things I preach, but like the cobbler with barefeet, my feet, my soul, is bare.
such good lessons here, but such a wave of relieved exhaustion too.
I am relieved. I am bone-deep soul-deep exhausted.
so tonight is about my white twinkle lights reflecting in the window glass
and it is about me, reflecting, and holding myself gently in that space between.