Did I skip a day? a day spent in vigilance after a night of half hourly barfing by my little one? after a night of no sleep at all? yes, apparently, I did. so today feels better but the vigilance is now mine, any bodily sensation, however tiny, is scrutinized for evidence of impending doom.… Read More
day 2 of my new experience of allowing, ALLOWING, myself to feel what I am feeling even when what I am feeling is not-so-fun. I am horrible at this. Much better at avoidance….But. But it got me down into my truth pretty quickly, and that, however humbling, is at least something I can live with.… Read More
sometimes I feel a little more cracked open, a little more permeable, a little less contained today was like that I usually think of it as negative, and try to stuff myself back into something that feels less vulnerable as quickly as I can, but today, instead, I sat there with my cracked openness, let… Read More
I cannot imagine the immense burden of such a public grief but I also remember how it felt to walk through the world, totally shattered in a way that was totally invisible. it was my private secret. and that, I can tell you, was its own type of burden. I am thinking now of how it… Read More
I have this fantasy life in which I have time to write. I have time enough to write through the bullshit and be able to get down to the truth of the moment. In my real life, I have time to write– but I have time to write what arrives, as is, just like that.… Read More
Today, in the midst of the flurry, a few perfect moments The dishes done,sink clear,bed made,floor vacuumed….sitting down, admiring the feeling of space… Della dancing in the living room… Goosebumps after an uninterrupted cool shower after a very hot walk… Such pleasure and beauty in these ordinary moments, so grateful to have noticed Share This:
some days I feel as if I have it somewhat together, or feel it is coming more together than apart. I am living (first typed “loving”) from a place of awareness, increased peace, increased congruence. then there are days like this, when right out of the gate, it became apparent that this was going to… Read More
watching my 2 and a half year old in the midst of a tantrum i find myself imagining the immediacy of such emotional experience to allow myself to be taken over by emotion is one of my biggest fears and yet, there she is, full on, fully expressing, fully experiencing, and then the clouds part… Read More
the smell of cinnamon baking and I am back, instantly, in a kitchen in connecticut, with a butcher block table made by my dad and grandpa with a lip cut to fit the clamp of the bread mixer, a height just for kneading, and a shelf underneath for the milk cans I am back to… Read More
today, for me, was about wanting simplification no. it wasn’t. it was about overt and covert knee jerk “complexification” it was about too muchness and not enoughness it was about too little time, too many things on the do list, on the expected, on the communicated, on the committed list it was about stupid food… Read More
