considering public grief

I cannot imagine the immense burden of such a public grief

but I also remember how it felt to walk through the world, totally shattered in a way that was totally invisible. it was my private secret. and that, I can tell you, was its own type of burden.

I am thinking now of how it might have been to not feel like I had to be polite,  to not feel like I had to smile, to not feel like I had act normal for even one moment… what would it have been like to just be able to be in grief, because everyone already knew…?

this I do know: all ways through grief carry a burden. public, private, it does not matter.




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