so I realized I am choosing to complicate my life setting deadlines rushing towards shoulds of my own making feeling increasingly sporadically frantic, like I am not going to make it on time, when, it’s true, I am just simply not. so here’s the big question: so what? I never asked myself, so what? or… Read More
feeling my way through this is like navigating in the dark, edges ringed by prickery dissonance, by feelings of not this rather than this feeling my way by moving into discomfort, learning to trust the fact of my own discomfort, that yes, it is there, that yes, it is discomfort and then waiting for the… Read More
what do you write? what could possibly sum up an existence? hint at the immense, complex, wondrous, wholeness of a person? what words can capture any of us? our struggles and triumphs, the accumulation of ordinary miracles and magic that come from opening doors and offering smiles, the laughter that falls like rain. we spend… Read More
a few years ago, I wrote on my other blog about a hike I took up the steep path that makes my heart beat so fast I can hear nothing else, up past the old fallen down shack, along the stone wall, the sudden opening at the top to an overlook…up high along the ridge… Read More
There is a thicket of history and habit and self story thorny and tangled choked and dense it pulls at my clothes, catches and nicks my skin as I work my way through, slow work, salty and stinging But I am clearing, I am. my mind tries to attach a picture, of a garden… Read More
This is how complex grief plays out, 10 years later: a 9 hour drive, 400 miles 2 strangers in pick up trucks: 1 angel in carharts wielding a tape measure, 1 blue eyed artist wielding a tape measure perhaps one last time before a move to cambodia a 5 x 10 plot of land purchased, somewhere… Read More
All I know is this: even if I could only fly badly, awkwardly, ungracefully and with supreme effort even if I looked totally ridiculous if I could fly at all, I would be flying all the time. huh. Share This:
a·tone·ment n. 1. Amends or reparation made for an injury or wrong; expiation. (via thefreedictionary.com) This word may lead to obvious things that may pull at the sleeves of our attention: hurt we’ve caused others, or fear we might have…. things that call out loudly or softly for making amends. But what of the hurt… Read More
I am revisiting the idea of surrender. I remember seeing an Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday with Iyanla Vansant, where Iyanla talked of surrender, and as she did so, she threw her arms wide open, her heart open, and raised her face upwards as if to fully receive … and it was a powerful moment for me,… Read More
Meditation is a form of dropping down, or away, from the roaring brainnoise. Yoga, for me, is sometimes this kind of meditation. So is walking or hiking. Swinging, singing, bouncing, dancing…. all bring me to edges of this place, but often my own self consciousness keeps me tethered. I never considered different forms of journeying… Read More
