feeling my way through this is like navigating in the dark, edges ringed by prickery dissonance, by feelings of not this rather than this
feeling my way by moving into discomfort, learning to trust the fact of my own discomfort, that yes, it is there, that yes, it is discomfort
and then waiting for the shift that comes with permission to seek alternatives, to move away, even if I do not know what I am moving toward.
I am reminded of a quote from Abraham that I will paraphrase here: “You may not always know what you want to do, but you always know how you want to feel”.
and I do.
I am aiming for comfort and openness, peace and wholeness.
I guess I did not realize just how bruised my edges would be standing in the relative open, how raw, how much a mere breath of wind would sting
and I guess I did not realize that to move forward means, each time, to gather myself, re-orient, and re-enter the dark of the labyrinth, and brave the inevitable collisions
***
as I write this, I envision a way to rise above, not around but through differently. find a way to project upwards, forwards, toward that desired feeling space. transmutation of this sort of journey into that.
just because I am familiar with struggle does not mean I have to continue to choose paths that include struggle
maybe I can entrust myself to a silent journey on the back of a spirit-owl high above and safe in the dark night. even though I cannot see my way through, it does not mean it cannot be seen, cannot be navigated with eyes evolved for night-vision, and wings evolved for flight
Love that paraphrased quote! It is so relevant to making life-changing decisions of all sorts … including the one I am current engaged in. Do you have a reference for the original Abraham text?
Hi Andy, It is a quote that has long adorned the bottom of my other blog. Here is a link I just found to the source material (oy! bad scanning OCR, “but” was decoded into “hut”… but you will find the full quote in the middle of page 198:
“The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked, for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes, you don’t even know what you want to have, but you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you always know how you want to feel.” Abraham-Hicks, A New Beginning II My distilled version works for me. I’m glad it resonated with you as well. warmly, Kate
http://www.kate-johnson.com
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